With Dick Cheney endorsing a Democrat and a Kennedy endorsing a Republican, this election is uniting strange bedfellows. But how can couples who actually share a bed sustain their connection in election anxiety? How can politically divided families and friends thwart a civil war at dinner? We the people at Carmichael Psychology offer 3 tips to form a more perfect union:
1. Map common ground: Unlike congress who won’t cross the aisle, those of different politics who crossed the wedding aisle or formed friendships likely did so because they bonded beyond policy. This shared history can be lost when anxiety temporarily narrows focus to detect threats, activating a fight or flight response. Remembering our common ground helps to strengthen connections. The mapped highlights of my friendship with a conservative TV news reporter reveals: decades of laughter, love for his sons, and our support of each’s raw human moments. When I was isolating in breakup grief, my concerned friend reporting from the White House called my father at the Pentagon and told him to bring his daughter home. Also mapped is his wedding (dance party) which he asked Supreme Court Justice Scalia to officiate. Conservative Justice Scalia and Liberal Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg found common ground in their own friendship including a love of opera, and Justice Ginsberg’s appreciation of receiving two dozen roses from Justice Scalia every birthday.
2. Divide your battleground: With constant election updates in a tight race, it’s understandable for a “worry list” of battles to grow, limiting time for relationship connection. News that 81% of polled voters weren’t swayed by Taylor Swift’s candidate endorsement may be anxiety inducing for some. Dividing “worry lists” into what is in your Zone of Control and Zone of Non-Control can redirect analysis paralysis to action, and shorten your worry list. Taylor (who has spoken about her anxiety in the past), conveyed her Zone of Control in saying she researched and made her early voting plan. She encouraged others to take healthy action regardless of which side of the aisle they vote. Psychology research shows that making a plan can reduce overwhelm by stimulating the mind to process stressors and prepare for manageable components.
3. Explore the deeper story: Underneath staunch policy stances, there may be feelings tied to past stories, even from childhood. Unearthing the buried story and feelings can rekindle connection with yourself and others. Ensure you feel safe with the person with whom you’re sharing whether a lover, friend or therapist who can sensitively ask questions for understanding.
If you want to talk further about election anxiety and personalized approaches to using it constructively, I’m available for private sessions. Sonu Kori, Psychotherapy Extern at Carmichael Psychology.
Comments